Insecurity

SO what Taurusean scared and hate most? Insecurity.Maybe i should just accept my fate, for going thru e same thing again and again till my last breath.What should I do to make myself feel better? If only i regain my health, if not i will depressed to death.

Bad Health

My health getting worst from day to day, despite visiting numerous clinics and hospitals. Bone like cracking to pain, half body numbness, and i feel so dizzy whenever i never eat on time. The world is like spinning and i feel so so weak to even talk. No coffee, no heaty food. Dying soon.

Migraine

I took panadol this afternoon. And now only i realised there is cafein in panadol. Thts why after i took it, i feel a sudden out of pain and no more worries, i am happy! be it physically or mentally... but it could only last me for 4 hours.e pain is back soon after.
Doctor give me koyok, and asked me to continue take my own panadol.She ask me those same old questions which normal doctor will ask each patient in this scenario...Are u under some stress? Well well...i said "I dunno???"i find tht my work performance really went dwn e hill for 70% since few mths back...Sighhhh...
i think i do have stress, its personal stress....true enuf it is...I am Marshall Teddy...Remember? Headache, pain, then make myself feel better to think everything is all rite and everyone is so nice, thinking coz of certain stupid reasons everyone left, but they meant good for me....Omg...then at another moment trying to brush off these thoughs and hope to accept e cruel facts.... thts y my head is pain~~~~~~~

Sigh....i think i might as well thinking how to paste my koyok later...and where to paste huh??? shoulder? my shoulder ok ley...Paste head? !.!

Shutter Island

Movie Plot
Set in 1954, U.S. Marshal Teddy Daniels (Leonardo DiCaprio) is investigating the disappearance of a murderess whom escaped from a hospital for the criminally insane and is presumed to be hiding on the remote 'Shutter Island'.

I do not want to be Marshal Teddy or shld i said Edward. I am into his dilemma of getting e same pain. And everytime when e pain coming, i choose to create another person in myself. I will think of a lot of excuses or even the whole bullshit story which i assume to be taking place, just to cover the shocking wound in me. I choose to run away from the deepest pain, run away from reality. It happens again and again..non stop. If slapping myself could get me sober for nw and for all, i wish i could slap myself non stop. My headache is killing me frm time to time. I am tired...and i am just so so tired....