Its been 5 mths

Its been almost 5 mths that i never really updated any news here.
Well, as u guessed, i am busy with my life, esp personal life. And i am at home alone nw, after few mths, reading blogs a lot, and trying to plan my BKK itinerary for e coming weekend.
Fatigue visited me again recently, and nthg much i could do except having some Eu Yan Seng American Wild Ginseng tea sachet. I am not sure it helps, but i hope it wont get worsen.

Sunday

Arrgghhh....Its a super duper boring Sunday! So so boring...at home whole day..

Insecurity

SO what Taurusean scared and hate most? Insecurity.Maybe i should just accept my fate, for going thru e same thing again and again till my last breath.What should I do to make myself feel better? If only i regain my health, if not i will depressed to death.

The second life

Today is the second life for my laptop. And here, while waiting for the laptop to updates all the installations, i m trying to restart my life as well. Eventhough it's pain but I gonna do for wat it is. If nothing going to work out, things shall be ended as early as possible.

Time

I need more and more time! Time is just never enough.And again, i want to do sooo many things. I want to go shopping, i want to yum cha with frens, i want to watch my fav online new dramas, i want to tweet tweet and fb fb-ing...and most importantly i wan to REST!!! i wan to nua nua-ing! Everyone is getting so excited about the 1st day of December, showing Festive month is ready on its perk. But i got no time to even enjoying the season. Sobs...

Sleepless Nite

Its damn busy at work for the last 2 weeks, rushing for reports and figures. I could easily fall asleep every nite on weekends for these 2 weeks. But i could not sleep now! Sigh, coz i sleep for the whole day today...hate insomnia too...

Bad Day

I have a bad day today, throat not getting better but getting worst. And again, i have scolded those vendors on the phone like they are e most stupid people in the earth! I feel real bad at the end of e day, guilty...I feel i am an evil person and i think everyone in the office is having the same thought. Sighhhhh......i just cannot figure out why i become from bad to worst in scolding people on the phone, or even face to face sometimes, at work. My temper really going haywire these days. Is it the way an old hag behave? Oh my, i know i am going to be an old spinster, but just let me have a relax life k...or least dun make me an evil please~

Peace

Strange enough that I was unable to sleep whole last nite and required to go for a training till noon today, then work non stop till 9 plus pm, yet i felt not tired at all. I was standing in front of the mrt railway, facing the dark "totoro's" forest, i felt happy. I did not know wat type of feeling was that. I think shld be satisfaction. Though i never received any recognition, but after spending some quiet time doing my own job, i felt glad. I had been trying to think a lot lately. As i started to vent to all the people around me, getting unwanted attention, i felt bad actually. I wanted to have some time to stop and think, why i behaved like a monster, hating myself even more after hurting others. I need to think and think, how to control my emotion during urgent and chaos situations, handling people, even talking to people. Sigh, since young i do not really study this, as this is the most difficult task in my life.
And I keep thinking is guy/gal r/ship really tht important in my life? I know it is so important till can die for it, but i think it shld not be tht way. I need to find myself, but how. Is a real hard task. Peace.....in mind.

Your Happiness

I leave is to let you happy. I leave is to let go of your burden. I leave is to stop your emo-ness. I leave is because i do not want to see that pain on your face. I leave is to let you find your only super desired happiness since day one. I am not leaving to see you gain another type of suffer and pain. Now i am the one to ask you this, "Is it worth it???" Where is the cheeky and bubbly cartoon proclaimed character i met last time? Although you may be stress with work, but i know work is not really the most important thing for you. COz i know you. Stop deceiving yourself.

忘掉自己-胡杏儿

Listen to this song many times, tuning my feeling..now..

SG Viewers

My blog reached 1000 Sg viewers! OMG, i really do not remember i ever give my blog to anyone else other than Sean in Sg?? Funny sia...Who are you all ar? Can enlighten me? Shld have more viewers from Msia right? I hope if you are my colleagues or ex colleagues, please give me a break. Totally apreciate it......LOL...nobody will admit also... :(

Carry On

Good..Please carry on with ur posting...coz it helps......hope it helps...if not i really dunno when i can wake up....

Quote of e day

The best way to make your dream come true is to WAKE UP

Not meant to be

No matter how many coins you toss in the fountain, how many wishes you make at 11:11, or how many fingers you cross, if it’s not meant to be, then it won’t happen.

Personal Preference/ Personal Taste

Free

I think i shall be free from my "biggest" pain. Means i shall celebrate? Buy Buy Buy till i poh kai.....Thought i only buy things when i am unhappy? Contradicting.

I SHALL BE FREE FROM TODAY ONWARDS...WAITING TO BE REBORN...

Ipod is dead

My ipod officially dead. I killed her.I murdered her.Unplugged her when doing sync.
She was with me for almost 3 yrs...sigh...so sad..

Time not enough!

Time is not enough SUDDENLY!!
i feel so tired easily..i just need time to rest please...
and i wanted to surf net, watch online dramas..and going to shop and coffee with frens...omg...but most importantly is still rest, rest, rest..super tired.....

Migraine

I took panadol this afternoon. And now only i realised there is cafein in panadol. Thts why after i took it, i feel a sudden out of pain and no more worries, i am happy! be it physically or mentally... but it could only last me for 4 hours.e pain is back soon after.
Doctor give me koyok, and asked me to continue take my own panadol.She ask me those same old questions which normal doctor will ask each patient in this scenario...Are u under some stress? Well well...i said "I dunno???"i find tht my work performance really went dwn e hill for 70% since few mths back...Sighhhh...
i think i do have stress, its personal stress....true enuf it is...I am Marshall Teddy...Remember? Headache, pain, then make myself feel better to think everything is all rite and everyone is so nice, thinking coz of certain stupid reasons everyone left, but they meant good for me....Omg...then at another moment trying to brush off these thoughs and hope to accept e cruel facts.... thts y my head is pain~~~~~~~

Sigh....i think i might as well thinking how to paste my koyok later...and where to paste huh??? shoulder? my shoulder ok ley...Paste head? !.!

Photography

Now, the light is on...Coz i could not see in e dark, and getting more headache to attempt to see in the dark...Hehe...
Yesterday, i added a fren's fren in FB. It amazed me with her photography. Colourful, bubbly and its just so pretty...I hope i can take such cute and nice pictures soon. So, my coming wish list will be a camera..hmm...what type of camera? still thinking..i do not think i could afford her Leica Camera...damn exp...