Strange enough that I was unable to sleep whole last nite and required to go for a training till noon today, then work non stop till 9 plus pm, yet i felt not tired at all. I was standing in front of the mrt railway, facing the dark "totoro's" forest, i felt happy. I did not know wat type of feeling was that. I think shld be satisfaction. Though i never received any recognition, but after spending some quiet time doing my own job, i felt glad. I had been trying to think a lot lately. As i started to vent to all the people around me, getting unwanted attention, i felt bad actually. I wanted to have some time to stop and think, why i behaved like a monster, hating myself even more after hurting others. I need to think and think, how to control my emotion during urgent and chaos situations, handling people, even talking to people. Sigh, since young i do not really study this, as this is the most difficult task in my life.
And I keep thinking is guy/gal r/ship really tht important in my life? I know it is so important till can die for it, but i think it shld not be tht way. I need to find myself, but how. Is a real hard task. Peace.....in mind.
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